


Incomplete (2020 Rewrite)

by glitterlovegal



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Anxiety, Friendship, Multi, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:05:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22975852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterlovegal/pseuds/glitterlovegal
Summary: All 5 guys are working on an album and getting ready for a tour. However, Nick is about to reveal a secret that could possibly destroy everything they have worked so hard for over the past almost three decades.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 7





	1. Breaking Down

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to add your comments so I know what to work on.

Every boy band has five personalities: the dreamboat, the glue, the shy one, the bad boy, and the boy next door. Most fans want to believe that Nick is the dreamboat, Howie is the glue, Kevin is the shy one, AJ is the bad boy, and Brian is the boy next door. That's what the PR team and the boys want you to believe.

On a hot summer day in July, all five guys are sitting around trying to write new music for their next album. Nick normally has a lot to say when it comes to writing new music. However, today is different. Nick has barely said two words today. That's highly unusual. Normally, the boys can't get him to shut up for two seconds. Since Brian is Nick's best friend, he is the first to notice it.

Kevin looked around the room and asked for everyone's opinion on the piano part. "Does this sound good to everyone?"

AJ says "It sounds good bro."

Howie is checking an email on his phone, so he is not listening to Kevin or AJ.

Brian is just looking over at Nick, who is currently curled up in a ball on the couch. Brian comes over to Nick and asks quietly: "Is everything OK?"

Nick looks up at him quickly and says "I'm fine. I'm just trying to focus."

Brian doesn't believe him, but he goes over to Kevin and whispers something to him. Nick can't make out what Brian is telling Kevin, but he figures it's about him. 

Nick gets up and says to no one in particular "I'll be right back".

Nick leaves the room and tries searching for a quiet space. He decided a hallway would be too obvious, so he went with the restroom. Once he was in there, he found the largest stall, locked the door, and sat down with his back against the wall. He felt like he couldn't breathe, his heart was racing, and his thoughts were going a million miles a minute.

Meanwhile, the other four are taking a break and are on their phones. Brian starts a group text with the rest of the guys (minus Nick).

Brian: Is it just me or does Nick seem off today?

Kevin: I noticed he was very quiet today.

Howie: Wow. How did I miss that?

AJ: You were too busy reading your emails to notice.

Howie: Wasn't looking for your sarcastic responce, J.

Kevin: Enough. Let's focus.

Brian: Has anyone seen Nick? He's been gone for like 10 minutes.

Kevin: I will try calling him.

AJ: No use. He always has his phone on silent. He won't answer you.

Howie: Okay. Any ideas as to where he would be?

Brian: I'll go. I'm his closest friend. I think I might know where he is.

Brian says to the other three out loud; "I'll be back. I will find him and bring him back here."

Brian leaves the room and thinks about where Nick would have gone. Hallway? No. Too loud. Outside? No. He doesn't smoke anymore. He couldn't have gone to his car either, because his keys and wallet were in the workroom. Ah ha! Bathroom. Brian goes to the bathroom and knocks quietly on the door "Nick. It's B-Rok. Are you in here?"

Brian's question is greeted by quiet sobs. He follows the sound until he is at the large stall. "Nick, unlock the door. It's me. Nobody but you and me."

Nick unlocks the door and says "Brian, don't tell anyone how you found me. You weren't supposed to know. Nobody was."

"Nick, like it or not. I found you this way and we are going back to the workroom so you, me, and the other three can figure out what the hell is going on with you."

Nick lets out an exasperated sigh. "OK. Fine."

Brian sends a quick text to the other 3: I found him. Coming back now.

Nick and Brian head back to the workroom.

Kevin takes one look at Nick and says "Where have you been?"

"No comment. I plead the fifth."

"You know you can't get away with that Nick."

"Fine. You all really want to know? Because I haven't even told anyone about it. When I was 14, I was diagnosed with social anxiety. Basically, I'm afraid of everyone juding me. That's why I act like a goofball all the time. I thought that would help me fit in. All it's done is made me stand out even more. Unfortunately, with the social anxiety comes panic attacks. That's why I left earlier. I was having a panic attack."

Howie turns to Nick and asks "Why didn't you say something?"

Nick (as he's holding back tears) says "I didn't want to ruin our stardom. More importantly, I didn't want to ruin our friendships."

There are so many more questions to ask, but now is not the time to ask them. The guys will continue asking Nick questions later.


	2. Getting Answers (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments so I know exactly what to work on.

The guys have decided to finish up for the day and head back to the hotel. They all decided to meet in Nick's room to make him more comfortable. 

There is a knock on Nick's door. Nick looks through the eye hole and sees the other four guys. He decides after about 5 seconds to let them in. 

Brian set down the 4 large pizza boxes, AJ is carrying 2 liter bottles of soda, Howie has some whiskey and vodka, and Kevin is carrying some bags of chips.

Nick asks them "What is this? A party? I don't feel like a party."

Kevin replies "This isn't a party. We are gonna be here for a while until you tell us everything and how we can best help you."

Howie interjects "Oh yeah. All of our wives are coming, including Lauren. Also, since Baylee is old enough to understand what's going on, he's coming too."

Nick, with a bunch of sarcasm "Great. Just who I need to see. More people to humiliate me."

AJ replies "Knock that off. You know that's not true."

Brian's phone chimes. He says out loud "It's Leighanne. All the wives and Baylee are here. They are on their way up."

Brian lets all of them in once they get up to the room. He says "Nick, don't you have something to tell the ladies and Baylee?"

Nick responds "I plead the fifth."

Kevin says "Nicholas Gene. Don't use that tone with us. Tell the truth."

Nick shoots daggers from his eyes at the guys. "Fine. You really want me to tell the truth? When I was 14, I was diagnosed with social anxiety. Basically, I'm afraid of everyone juding me. That's why I act like a goofball all the time. I thought that would help me fit in. All it's done is made me stand out even more. Unfortunately, with the social anxiety comes panic attacks. I had a panic attack earlier today. Brian found me in the bathroom at our workspace crying."

Lauren is the first one to speak. "Nick. We've been together for how long and you didn't think to tell me? Why?"

Baylee responds before Nick can even respond. "Aunt Lauren, why don't we give Uncle Nick a chance to explain. I'm sure he has a good reason."

Leighanne asks Nick "So how bad is it? Like, what can we do to help you?"

Nick says "First thing is not putting high expectations on me. That stresses me out even more. Second thing is making sure I have support. I hate doing meet and greets by myself. It makes the anxiety worse."

Kevin speaks up. "I'm sure we can arrange it so at least one of us is with you for meet and greets."

Leigh wants to say something, but she doesn't want to upset Nick.

Kristin speaks up. She says "Nick, would talking about it some more right now help or do you need a break?"

Nick replies "I need a break."


	3. Getting Answers (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know what to work on.

After a short break, Nick starts answering some more questions.

Baylee says "Uncle Nick, is this something that can go away on its own?"

Nick replies: "Unfortunately, no. Some people can conquer it on their own if they develop the appropriate skills. In most cases, however, professional assistance is recommended."

Leigh asks next "Is this something that you knew you were afraid of all along?"

Nick gives Leigh a sad look says "I know the fear is excessive and unreasonable, but I feel powerless against the anxiety."

Brian jumps into the conversation next "Is there something I've done to make things worse?"

Before Nick can answer, AJ says "I guess taking you out to all those bars was probably not the best idea. Sorry bro."

Nick replies "You have it all wrong. Neither one of you did anything wrong. It's all on me this time. It's my disorder. I'm the one who has to live with it."

Kevin says "I wish you had said something sooner. I feel awful for not seeing the signs. It's my fault. I'm the oldest. I should have been there for you."

Nick says "Okay. Enough of this for now. Can we eat and drink now?"

Brian opens the whiskey and vodka. Baylee gets a soda, but he wants to try the whiskey. Brian looks at Baylee and mouths the word "later".

There are so many more questions that need to be answered, but everyone just wants to enjoy the night.


	4. Developing A Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know what to work on.

Brian and Baylee left Nick's room a little while ago and headed to Brian's room.

"Dad, why did you say later?"

"I thought you meant the alcohol. I will let you try a little bit."

"Well that's part of it. I also want to help Uncle Nick."

"If you have an idea, let me know because I'm at a loss."

"I actually might have an idea. I was looking some stuff up about social anxiety on my phone. I read about exposure therapy."

"Can I see the article?"

"Here you go."

Exposure therapy is a psychological treatment that was developed to help people confront their fears. When people are fearful of something, they tend to avoid the feared objects, activities or situations. Although this avoidance might help reduce feelings of fear in the short term, over the long term it can make the fear become even worse. In such situations, a psychologist might recommend a program of exposure therapy in order to help break the pattern of avoidance and fear. In this form of therapy, psychologists create a safe environment in which to “expose” individuals to the things they fear and avoid. The exposure to the feared objects, activities or situations in a safe environment helps reduce fear and decrease avoidance.

Exposure therapy has been scientifically demonstrated to be a helpful treatment or treatment component for a range of problems, including:

Phobias  
Panic Disorder  
Social Anxiety Disorder  
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder  
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder  
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

There are several variations of exposure therapy. Your psychologist can help you determine which strategy is best for you.

These include:

In vivo exposure: Directly facing a feared object, situation or activity in real life. For example, someone with a fear of snakes might be instructed to handle a snake, or someone with social anxiety might be instructed to give a speech in front of an audience.

Imaginal exposure: Vividly imagining the feared object, situation or activity. For example, someone with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder might be asked to recall and describe his or her traumatic experience in order to reduce feelings of fear.

Virtual reality exposure: In some cases, virtual reality technology can be used when in vivo exposure is not practical. For example, someone with a fear of flying might take a virtual flight in the psychologist's office, using equipment that provides the sights, sounds and smells of an airplane.

Interoceptive exposure: Deliberately bringing on physical sensations that are harmless, yet feared. For example, someone with Panic Disorder might be instructed to run in place in order to make his or her heart speed up, and therefore learn that this sensation is not dangerous.

Exposure therapy can also be paced in different ways. These include:

Graded exposure: The psychologist helps the client construct an exposure fear hierarchy, in which feared objects, activities or situations are ranked according to difficulty. They begin with mildly or moderately difficult exposures, then progress to harder ones.

Flooding: Using the exposure fear hierarchy to begin exposure with the most difficult tasks.

Systematic desensitization: In some cases, exposure can be combined with relaxation exercises to make them feel more manageable and to associate the feared objects, activities or situations with relaxation.

Exposure therapy is thought to help in several ways, including:

Habituation: Over time, people find that their reactions to feared objects or situations decrease.

Extinction: Exposure can help weaken previously learned associations between feared objects, activities or situations and bad outcomes.

Self-efficacy: Exposure can help show the client that he/she is capable of confronting his/her fears and can manage the feelings of anxiety.

Emotional processing: During exposure, the client can learn to attach new, more realistic beliefs about feared objects, activities or situations, and can become more comfortable with the experience of fear.

"Maybe we can try some of this with him."

"Shouldn't we get a shrink involved?"

"I don't think Uncle Nick will listen to one. We have to do this on our own. We just have to get everyone else on the same page."

"Okay bub. I will talk to everyone tomorrow."

"Night dad."

"Night Bay."


	5. Getting The Team Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know what to work on.

As Brian promised Baylee, he started a group text (minus Nick) to get everyone on board.

Brian: Hey everyone. Baylee and I were talking last night. I think we may have an idea for how to help.

Baylee: It's called exposure therapy. We gradually put Uncle Nick into situations that make him uncomfortable until he gets over his fears.

Howie: Isn't that something that should be done with a shrink?

Lauren: Doubt my hubby would listen to one.

Kristin: So how do we help?

Rochelle: I want to help.

Kevin: I don't know if this is a good idea.

AJ: We don't know unless we try.

Leigh: Kev, AJ is right. 

Leighanne: I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

Brian: Okay, type "I" if you agree to help Nick.

Baylee: I

Brian: I

Howie: I

Kevin: I

AJ: I

Lauren: I

Leigh: I

Kristin: I

Leighanne: I

Rochelle: I

Brian: So everyone is on board. Let's strategize and bring it to him later. See everyone tonight at my place for a party. I will try inviting Nick. No guarantees.


	6. First Attempt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know what to work on.

Brian takes a long look at his phone, debating internally whether or not to call Nick. 

After about 30 seconds, he decides to call Nick.

*Ring.....Ring.....Ring*

"Hey Brian. I wasn't expecting to hear from you today. Did I forget about a meeting?"

"No. Nothing like that. I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay I guess."

"I'm throwing a party tonight. Just family, except for the younger kids won't be there. So it's me, Howie, AJ, Kevin, Leighanne, Leigh, Rochelle, Kristin, Lauren, and Baylee. Do you want to come?"

"I dunno. Parties make me pretty nervous."

"Nick, it's family. No need to be nervous."

"I know, but that isn't how this works."

"I have a feeling that you're anxious just thinking about going and you're trying to come up with excuses not to come. How accurate am I?"

"Yeah. I'm nervous because I think everyone will judge me."

"You're being difficult, young man."

"Sorry."

"What if I tell you you only have to stay for 1 hour? That's all I'm asking."

"Seems like a long time."

"It's really not. Please?"

"Okay...fine. What time?"

"7 pm."

"Okay."

"See you soon."

*Click*


	7. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know what to work on. Also, I created the fictional phone app that Nick mentions in this chapter.

*Time jump....Brian came and picked up Nick and now they are at the party.*

Nick turns to Brian and says "Frick, I'm worried."

"Nick, there is nothing to be worried about. It's me, the guys, all of our wives, and Baylee."

"Fine. I will try, but I don't make any promises."

"That's all I want. Just try."

Brian and Nick finally enter the room. Nick immediately felt his pulse rate increase. He says to himself "Shhh. I'm fine. It will all be okay. It's family."

Kevin comes up and taps Nick on the shoulder from behind. That was a bad decision. Nick jumped and almost decked Kevin. Brian had to restrain Nick. 

"Nick. It's Kev. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Next time, can you come at me from the front so I can see you?"

"Okay. I will try to remember to do that. Anyways, how are you feeling?"

"I'm terrified. I think everyone is judging me. Look at them, everyone is in their own little groups. I'm sure they are talking about me."

"Nick, that's not true. None of us would judge you."

"Kev, can you get AJ and Howie? I want to tell all four of you something."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

*Kevin comes back with AJ and Howie*

"Nick, there was something you wanted to tell all of us. What is it?"

"I...um...it's hard for me to talk about it."

"Nick, we won't judge you. Promise."

"I want you all to look at your phones. I sent you a link."

"What is this?"

"It's a link to my app that keeps track of how I'm feeling and tracks some biometrics as well."

"Wow. Look at the live tracking."

"Nick, are you okay?"

"No. I'm not. I'm on the verge of a panic attack."

"Do you want to tell the girls and Baylee?"

"Not really...but I don't think I have a choice."


	8. This Isn't Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know what to work on.

Kevin gets everyone to come over and join the rest of the guys.

"Nick, there was something you wanted to share with all of us. What is it?"

*Ding*

"Okay ladies and Baylee, check your phones. I just sent you a link to an app that keeps track of how I'm feeling and some biometrics."

"Uncle Nick, are you okay?"

"No...not really. This isn't easy for me."

"Nick, just take your time. You're okay. You can tell us how you're feeling."

"Too many people, not enough space.". Nick kept repeating that in hopes that someone will catch on to what he's saying or someone will look at the app and know what to do.

Brian finally noticed what was happening. "Everyone back up. Let's give Nick some space.".

Nick called out "Bri...please stay.".

"Nick. It's me. Look at me. You're okay. I know it seems like the world is ending, but it's really not. Do you want to talk to me or do you need some time to think?"

Nick grabbed Brian's hand and pulled him outside. "I'm sorry. I freaked out for no reason. It's family and I still think that they are judging me. This isn't easy, but I will get through it."

"Nick. It's okay. I might not completely understand what is going on, but I will be here to support you. So will everyone else inside. We all care about you and we hate to see you hurting this much."

Brian knows that there are so many more questions to be answered, but now isn't the time to ask.


	9. The Conversation on the Patio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know what to work on.  
> NOTE: This chapter takes place a few minutes after the end of Chapter 8.

Brian gave Nick a few minutes to settle down. There are so many things he wants to ask Nick. However, he doesn't want to give him another panic attack.

"Nick, can I ask you something? I just want to try to help you."

"Okay."

"Promise me that you will say something if your anxiety levels start creeping back up again."

"Fine."

"Okay. What is something I can do to help you when you start feeling some significant anxiety?"

"Ask me what I need. Don't assume. It might be something you don't normally think of. I've started to figure out what works and what doesn't."

"Do you have the symptoms when we are performing?"

"Yes, but I try to hide it. I never wanted you guys to know."

"Nick, I hate seeing you struggle like this."

"I know. I mean I eventually want to tell management, but I'm scared that they will send me to a facility to get help."

"I'm not going to let that happen. I doubt AJ, Kevin, or Howie will allow it to happen either. We are family. We are not going anywhere."

"I never said anything because I was afraid that one day, you guys would wake up and realize I wasn't good enough."

"We would never say such a thing."

"That's what everyone says."

"Nick, that's just the doubt from the anxiety. I promise you we aren't going to leave you."

Brian felt his phone buzz. It's Kevin.

Kevin: Is Nick okay? You've been gone a long time.

Brian: He's fine. We are coming back in now.

"Nick, are you ready to come back in?"

"I'm ready to try again, Brian."


	10. Telling Management

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know what to work on.

Nick was terrified to tell the management team about his diagnosis and how much it affected him. The other four guys were all nervous too, but they knew it was something that needed doing.

Jen (their manager) steps out and says "We have the entire management team here. Come into the board room so we can talk about things."

The boys let Nick take the lead.

Nick says (in a very shaky voice) "When I was 14, I was diagnosed with social anxiety. Basically, I'm afraid of everyone juding me. That's why I act like a goofball all the time. I thought that would help me fit in. All it's done is made me stand out even more. Unfortunately, with the social anxiety comes panic attacks."

The entire management team sits there, dumbfounded by the new information. 

Jen finally speaks up and says "We should postpone the tour and all other work until Nick gets treatment."

"I don't want to go to the looney bin. See? I knew this was a bad idea."

"Frick, you know that's not true. Why don't we take a couple weeks off to figure out what we need to do to help you?"

"That sounds good. Just keep me informed."

"Thanks Jen."

Once management left, all five guys stayed in the board room.   
Kevin felt his phone buzz. It was the app Nick shared with them. "Nick, are you okay? Don't lie to us."

"I'm fine."

Howie and AJ pulled out their phones and both said "That's bull and you know it."

Brian was holding Nick's hand, and he said :Nick, it's okay. We aren't upset. We just want to help.".

Nick said "Maybe I do belong in the looney bin." as he got up and left the room.


End file.
